Being “stuck” at home causing anxiousness? Feeling “unsettled”? I know a lot of people globally are having a difficult time “Being” at home. Sometimes, I’m sure your skin even feels like it’s alive and crawling! Your children or spouse or both seem to be getting on your nerves more than usual, you find yourself wanting to break out of your “prison!”. This is what it feels like at times for a free -spirit soul! I first experienced this when I left my career of over 20 years as a counselor and decided to pick up my two kids, sell my house and move to a little town of only 335 people. I mean just the sound of that probably makes people feel crazy! I left one hell of a crazy lifestyle I will tell you that. Well, I mean, is it not crazy to Wake up every morning by alarm clock to get up and get two young children ready for daycare, rush off to work every morning. Going through a drive-thru so that you can eat, and just gobble it down not even tasting it but just to get it in your system and literally going like that all day, until, late at night, when the chores are done and kids are fast asleep do you have one moment to feel your body. It’s buzzing from the day and when you are soaking in that tub, you realize just how exhausted you really are. I mean the thought of that exhausted me. So, once I left my career and moved to this little town where people waved and said hello every time I pulled into it, where rush hour was three or four cars driving down the street in front of the house! I would actually sit out in my backyard and my body felt like it was going nuts! I actually think I gained some weight at this time, not because I ate a lot but I think that my body was actually adjusting to all the senses that were opening up. Because I actually had the time, I began to smell things, become aware of color around me, I felt my body attached to my head and just the time of sitting, and thinking, processing etc was so alien to me. So, I totally understand it!
Here a theory that I have of why it is so distressing when we are forced to be isolated. One of the biggest reasons, especially if you are on your own, is that you will be alone with your thoughts. I think there are a lot of people that don’t want to know their thoughts and honest feelings. I believe a lot of people leave their “stuff” inside and push it down far. I think people stay in marriages or relationships even though they don’t feel they truly want to be there. If people had to just sit, think and be alone with their thoughts, my guess is that it would be just to frightening. This to me is the biggest reason. I hate to say it, but after this time, we will see a lot of children come into the world in 9 months, or we will see a lot of couples end relationships. It really is a test of true love and self love during this time.
The other reason it’s hard to be isolated, is because we are not used to sitting down and having conversations anymore. Instead, we send out little texts throughout the day with gifs and memes and one or two word messages. We have forgotten the art of conversation. We seemed to forget that people like to share their stories, share their thoughts. Now a days it’s people being afraid to be judged or just being so concerned every day about work, what clothes they want to buy or how they can get out of the house for a few hours. People don’t really spend much time being full on with each other and aware of what the other person might be feeling or do people finish each other’s sentences anymore? I see this all the time when I am out at a coffee shop or at a mall sitting or out eating as I am by myself and I watch people….I love to people watch. Almost everyone is sitting around looking at their cell phones….at family dinners looking at cell phones, on a date on their cell phones. So, it’s hard as people are becoming unfamiliar with conversation.
Another reason, and it will be my last, is that people truly at soul level want the freedom to be who they are, to go do and experience what they want, and there is always a little itch inside that we push to the side because we somehow feel that we can not truly be free or we are under the delusion that we are free. Myself, I remember being a job for a week this past year, everything was really perfect actually, and I just had this disappointed feeling. “Okay, so is this it” a feeling of okay, this is boring now. I heard myself say it and could feel the light anxiousness of doing the same thing everyday. I am a free spirit and I want to experience things that i want, you know. Even for a free spirited person, it is hard to be in one place and do something over and over. So, the thing to do when you begin to feel this is first congratulate yourself because you actually have an awareness of your being, then breathe….find something everyday that is different, that brings joy, and move around. Whether you are doing zumba, weights, yoga…just move through the feelings. If you have a partner, grab them and “Dance it out” as they say in Grey’s Anatomy. Movement in body shifts movement in energy!
So, to sum it up : Sit with your self, with your feelings and work through the baggage that is lurking in the dark corners within your being. This is the perfect time to release feelings or thoughts that no longer serve a purpose in your life. This is the perfect time to own up to your shit. Stop the swirling of negative self talk, or stop being in denial and just sit with your thoughts. Feel your body, and listen to what it is telling you!
Learn how to connect with people again, especially those in your family! Find out how the last year has been for them and what is their fears right now? Plan a new life this year once this pandemic is over and we all begin again. It will end you know, it won’t last forever.
My wish for you all is that you stay firstly, healthy. I hope that you learn to connect with yourself and love yourself as you are. If you are lonely I hope that you find that you are connected to everything around you and that you learn to once again, open your heart and your mind to the people around you. See beauty and all that is good around you and know that you are okay and loved. Until next my friends, be well. #joannehughescoaching, #learningtolovewhatyouhave,