I woke up the other morning and heard the news about the tragic loss of Eddie Van Halen. I was saddened to hear this along with so many. Eddie was not only a rock star in a band my generation loved, but he was gifted as a guitarist and was an innovator with guitar. I truly enjoy listening to music by people that are talented at what they do. Eddie Van Halen was just so natural and the guitar was really a part of him, like it was his right hand. I particularly felt empathy for his son Wolfgang because I know of the loss that he will experience. It made me think about the loss of my Dad and Mom and my family members.
I’m 53, a single woman and I’ve thought about a lifetime with break-ups, divorce and heartbreak. When I think about loss now, the loss of a relationship is nothing compared to the loss of a parent. As I change and transmute myself, from a young lady that attracts her mate, with a lifetime ahead of her and the thrill of love and all the emotions that come with that. Then the change of life where you transform into your crone years, wisdom, confidence….everything changes. The way I used to look at life through the eyes of a woman that had the whole world to explore and a lifetime to share and explore, to a totally different phase of life. I remember things changed for me in a devastating way the moment I was told that my Dad had died. I will never forget the day and where I was and what I was doing at that exact moment and how I reacted. Life changed since then…. you do keep moving on, for me though, it didn’t come for 3 years later. Life will never be the same though and even though there are still many moments to celebrate and many moments to explore and celebrate, there just always seems to be something that feels incomplete, a hole, a sadness, an emptiness. No matter what you do, that feeling just never goes away.
Family truly is the greatest gift of all time, with lessons and experiences good and bad. Every lover you have ever loved and have lost will just be as insignificant as grains of sand though compared to loss you feel with a parent or family. We can only learn to live in a way that feels comfortable with that loss. Wolfgang Van halen, I’m sorry you had to walk into this club of the Loss of Parents at such a young age. May your Dad rest in peace. May others savour the time upon this earth with your family, parents and siblings this Thanksgiving. Even though the Canadian government wants us not to spend time with family, I say “Screw You” don’t take the time away from families as when do we ever know when our time might come.
Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian Readers. May you all be surrounded by family, just practice handwashing, don’t touch your face but spend it with family and give thanks that you are all together during this time. Be safe all! I’m grateful to all my readers and followers for when you do that you all become my family! With all that I am…namaste